W3

 This week we took a break from serious topics, but still discussed one which is important to talk about. We talked more about family, but more specifically how each individual interacts within the family. Is there one way of family function that works better than others? How do you fit within your family and what do you do for your family? These are just some questions we posed to each other and ourselves in this week's discussions. 

A large focus of this week's discussion was on different theories of family systems. The four discussed are Systems Theory, Exchange Theory, Symbolic Interaction Theory, and Conflict Theory. Now personally I don't think there's any one correct way to go about family dynamics or roles, but to find a balance for what works for the family as a whole. Someone may just naturally think in the way of exchange theory where for anything I do for you, you gotta do for me to keep things balanced, but for others like myself, that mentality just misses its mark and sounds kind of selfish.

To be honest, I never put much thought into specific theories of this sort. I have always seen it as two partners who organize themselves to best work together. If you happen to work best by action via exchange in your partnership, then as long as it works for both you and your partner and there is love in that relationship, go for it. More often than not, however, your expectations and what works for you are going to be entirely different than your partner's. My mentality probably best aligns with Systems theory, you and your partner should together decide what needs to be done and who does it. If you have a strength for something, you're in charge of it and your partner should support and help how they can. If your partner has a strength for something, they're in charge of it and you help and support how you can.

A partnership should not be defined by rigid roles and responsibilities. Yes, each member of a family will fill in roles within that family, like the youngest child may be the troublemaker but the life bringer. But we as people evolve and develop throughout our lives, so to think that a lifelong partnership should remain confined to the same roles throughout time is just ignorant and unrealistic. 

This whole time I've been avoiding the word spouse, and only saying partner. Because when you marry someone, they are your life partner now and should be treated as such. Wherever they fall short, you pick up the slack. Wherever you fall short, they pick up the slack. While you'll rarely have a 50/50 result, that should be the aim, but you always need to end at 100. Day by day, the ratio will sway; however, working together is how you stay. There are of course instances of individuals who abuse this mentality and the kindness of whom they call their partner, but a rotten fruit will never make a good jam, which doesn't mean the recipe is bad.